Mudshark

Mudshark by Gary Paulsen
 * would the custodian please report to the faculty restroom with a plunger...no, wait...a shovel and a plunger? 1
 * and has anybody seen the gerbil from room two oh six? 1
 * when he walked down a hall he didn't just walk, he seemed to move as part of the hall. 2
 * i didn't even see his hand move, I didn't see so much as a blur. 3
 * once they started crawling, his father said that all heck broke loose, because nothing moves faster than a tiny, determined toddler heading toward a breakable or swallowable object. 3
 * As he leapt silently to his feet and took a step toward the door, he saw two pink streaks darting past him in the same direction. 4
 * three babies, two arms 5
 * Sometimes his outfit fit in with the way everybody else dressed and sometimes it didn't. 6
 * it was as ugly as broken teeth chewing rotten meat, but by the end of the day everybody in school wished they had a green wool sweater with a yellow leather diamond and a poodle on it too. 6
 * it was all in the way your thoughts ran through your mind, the way you managed the flow of electrical charges jumping from one brain cell to another to form ideas. 7
 * while everyone else was hanging out or goofing off or playing video games or listening to music or watching tv or walking down the hallway in a funk or texting each other or surfing the net, he was observing the people and objects and sights and scenes around him. 7
 * Mom, I think all the time. 7
 * Fingernails grow exactly four times faster than toenails, but its not like we need toenails because we don't even use them for scratching and did you know that an octopus doesn't even have toenails. 8
 * he'd learned to read before he went to kindergarten and was always carrying two or three books with him. 8
 * he only had to read a page once to be able to quote from it word for word. 8
 * as with any skill, practice made him more proficient, and over time, he'd developed a nearly photographic memory. 9
 * and he ran to the front bushes and sure enough, his homework was there. 9
 * Every day there was a line of pale and shaky students sitting in her waiting room, clutching small pails and groaning. 10
 * The cool thing about him was that he not only had information, he knew how to use it. 10
 * But he was a legend in his own time because he had once failed to find the cafeteria while both double doors were open and people were yelling at him as he walked past. 13
 * got any idea what happened to it? 'cause I can't go to practice without both shoes. 14
 * George Washington, the Father of our Country, did not wear shorts, have tattoos and chest hair, or smoke cigars. 15
 * it turned out that the main lesson crayfish had to teach was reproduction and multiplication of a species because crayfish are really good at making babies. 17
 * so much LIfe had made everyone nervous. 17
 * the custodian was looking haggard, since he had no time off. 17
 * There were also many new recipes for crayfish on the internet. 18
 * she was brillant and joyous and she believed- probably correctly--- that libraries contain the answers to all things, to everything, and that if you can't find the information you seek in the library, then such information probably does not exist in this or any parallel universe now or ever to be known. 18
 * she was, above all else, a master librarian and knew where to find any book on any subject in the shortest possible time. 19
 * would you look at that! it's a purse! 23
 * oh look! a penny. this is my lucky day. 23
 * Although she was thrilled with her new purse, she still wanted interesting and educational creatures in the library for the betterment of her students. 23
 * you should not try to pick it up if it is, indeed a rat. I repeat: Refrain from picking up rats. 24
 * he seemed to know that he lived in a library; he spoke in a near whisper. 25
 * Gradually, people realized that he seemed to speak several different languages, or at least it sounded as if he did. 25
 * For some unknown reason, he swore he was reciting off-colored limericks in ancient Sanskrit. 25
 * Other than incessant belching, he fit right in to the library . 25
 * she had been working on the project for quite a long time, buying pound blocks of lard at the grocery and mixing the lard with what she called "experimental chemicals". 26
 * She had packed that jar full of something her cat had dragged in, which she had "cured" in the sun. 26
 * The players' eyes watered uncontrollably when they used the stuff, but they swore that her concoction was the best bruise medication they'd ever tried. 27
 * He spend a good deal of the rest of the day gazing thoughtfully at the bird. 28
 * I think that bird is special. 29
 * He has powers. Maybe... he's psychic. 29
 * Seriously a lot of erasers are missing. Please return them. 30
 * Life, after all, wasn't about out-thinking them. but it annoyed him a little. 31
 * Something was going on at school, something strange, and he couldn't put his finger on just what felt.. wrong. 31
 * the physical separation kept the girls from grabbing each other, eating off each other's plates, or complaining about fairness of portion sizes. 32
 * he had learned that a bike is the most efficient way to use human energy to move the body forward. 32
 * he spent many hours improving his bike's efficiency-- lubricating the bearings, cleaning and oiling the chain, perfecting his pedaling tehnique so that one push on a level street would move him forty yards. 32
 * and all the time he waited. waited for the knowledge he needed to figure out what was going on at school. 32
 * nobody wanted to think that a twelve year old girl with a bouncy black ponytail would run around school carrying a real human skull. 34
 * It's plastic. if it was real it would get all runny. 34
 * Every waking moment of every day he studied books on magic and most important on the art of misdirection. 35
 * Physical CLue-- plastic brain
 * Physical CLue-- fake armadillo
 * He found the car, as good as new, around the corner and down the block. 37
 * If you ever do it again, I will direct my hand to a part of your anatomy so hard you won't sit for three months. 38
 * Would whoever took them please refrain from taking any more and return all the missing ones to the appropriate rooms at once. 39
 * Physical Clue-- board eraser
 * The library was rapidly becoming the most popular room in the school, a fact that pleased her to no end. 40
 * The more people talked about him, the more they believed in him. 41
 * Any time a person was ordered to report to the principal immediatly, bad news followed. 42
 * The principal genuinely believed that his job was simply getting out of the way to allow teachers to teach. 42
 * Another half are swiping gym towels from teh locker rooms, so now we've got showers full of wet kids but no towels. 44
 * He came to attention when he saw a tall man carrying large, flat packages from the side door of the van to the basement door of the school. 46
 * The man handled the packages carefully, one at a time, and lined them up near the door. 46
 * They were each drawing with a stick, smoothing the sand down and patting the space in front of them flat before dragging the stick like a paintbrush through the sand to make lines. 47
 * Three parents have called complaining of waffle marks on their children's faces. 48
 * You can't have too much beauty...Ever. 50
 * I think that how someone looks at art is mostly private. 50
 * I don't feel it's fair to force other people to see things the way I see them. 50
 * You see... when I was eighteen, a college freshman, a war began and I felt i should help my country, so I joined the military and I was sent to fight. 50
 * For two years, three months, twenty one days and nine hours. I saw... terrible things. 51
 * The one thing I knew was that I wanted to live in a way that could never possibly hurt another person or creature. 51
 * It was as vivid and...meaningful in its own way as any painting I'd ever seen in any museum. 53
 * It was ... painful. To see it vanish. 53
 * I can hear the color green and taste the color blue. 54
 * It's read for anyone to draw or write anything. Like it's ... waiting for a new idea ad everything is possible. 54
 * And, you know, solving things, that's kind of beautiful. Well, I think so anyway. 55
 * I kept him here to fatten him up. He was half starved after being lost for so long. 55
 * Do not enter this taped area, and when passing please refrain from looking directly at the bright light coming from beneath the door. 58
 * A bored cat, is a leaving cat. 59
 * She was giving very specific instructions to the butcher about trimming the fat from a piece of sirloin. 59
 * Please refrain from distracting the hazmat crew the government has sent in. 63
 * He opened his eyes, homing in on the open transom above the library door. 63
 * But I'm the big fish around here, and more important, I can't let you see everything; that's no good. 65
 * The delicate balance of his school must be kept. 66
 * He knew that the practice of free thinking, allowing random thoughts to drift through his mind undirected, would eventually lead him to the solution. 67
 * The school day was over and all the teachers were in a meeting with the school board. 69
 * The entire building was quiet and ,except for the faculty in the cafeteria and his team outside the library, deserted. 69
 * i want to make sure he doesn't observe the wrong things. Oh, and we also need to cub his wandering ways at the same time. 70
 * I read that the apparatus for detecting odors is present in the nasal passages of all of them. 71
 * He looked at the sketches and listened to her gush about the new automated book handling system and the electronic blackboards-- 72
 * THere are styluses that can draw or write in different colors and everything, every last mark, can all be saved on a computer. 72
 * Does the library have to fight for every penny? 73
 * He stood in front of a row of sinks, a clothespin on his nose and a surgical mask across the lower part of his face, dumping a bucket into one of the sinks. 75
 * I know, based on the raw materials she has to work with, that it can't be truly hazardous, but she does stink up my lab. 76
 * Are your eyebrows going to grow back, though? 76
 * she was inadvertently misdirected so severely that she began to try regular plans, much to the relief of the entire student body. 79
 * THey were seen leaving together each day, talking about books and art, hurrying to get a bite toe eat before heading to a play or concert. 79
 * She's returning to her roots-- she grew up on a dairy farm. 80
 * He must be coming out, because somebody has been eating the sandwiches we put out each night, but we can't pin him down long enough to get him to emerge and start teaching again. 83